Quantcast
More

    Greg Norman, 65, sends fans wild as they notice a VERY naughty detail in his shirtless beach photo

    Golf legend Greg Norman, 65, sends fans wild as they notice a VERY naughty detail in his shirtless beach photo - so did you...

    Wildlife officials discover mysterious 12-foot-tall metal monolith in the middle of a Utah desert 

    Wildlife officials discover mysterious 12-foot-tall metal monolith standing in the middle of a Utah desert State workers in a helicopter noticed the shiny marker while...

    Wildlife officials discover mysterious 12-foot-tall metal monolith in the middle of a Utah desert 

    Wildlife officials discover mysterious 12-foot-tall metal monolith standing in the middle of a Utah desert State workers in a helicopter noticed the shiny marker while...

    CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: Forget fake news… fake cheese is the real problem to chew over

    CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews last night’s TV: Forget fake news… fake cheese is the real problem to chew over

    Secrets Of Your Supermarket Food

    Rating:

    The Big Night In

    Rating:

    To listen to Donald Trump and his querimonious outbursts, you’d think ‘fake news’ never existed before he arrived in the White House.

    Not true. Fake news is old, as old as soul music. Marvin Gaye warned us about it: ‘Believe half of what you see, son, and none of what you hear.’ Marvin must have known about Facebook.

    But now civilisation faces a new threat — fake cheese.

    Presenter Stefan Gates exposed this pre-processed evil on the entertaining and informative Secrets Of Your Supermarket Food (C5), as he mixed up a vatful of his own. A glug of palm oil, a trowelful of powdered starch, a dollop of vegetable fat and a sprinkling of whey protein went into the recipe, along with a squirt of yellow food dye to make it even more appetising.

    Sian Williams investigated how much air goes into soft ice cream as part of Secrets of Your Supermarket Food

    Sian Williams investigated how much air goes into soft ice cream as part of Secrets of Your Supermarket Food

    Stefan was thrilled with his low-cost gunk, which cost an eighth of the price of the real thing. ‘Traditional cheese is made from milk,’ he explained, in case any viewers believed the stories (started by Wallace and Gromit) about a Wensleydale mine on the moon.

    He took his fake cheese to a London family pizzeria, where chef Franco was a maestro with the mozzarella topping. Could processed fat taste as good, Stefan wondered? After all, that’s what they use for cheap supermarket pizzas.

    Everything in Franco’s Italian soul cried out against the experiment. ‘Horrible to do it,’ he lamented. He sprinkled the fake stuff on one pizza base, then lovingly grated the best Neapolitan white cheese on the other and loaded them into the oven.

    Fake-cheese pizza, it turns out, looks like a bad case of bubonic plague, all pustulent blotches on a crimson background. Stefan tried a taste but he couldn’t describe it out loud because his mouth was clagged up.

    After he recovered, he set about discovering how chocolate manufacturers get the bubbles into their bars to make them bigger and lighter.

    Who could have guessed that the pinpoint prickles in a Wispa are created with injections of nitrogen, while the honeycombing in an Aero is done with carbon dioxide?

    Bloodbath of the night:

    With its rock soundtrack and vintage dress sense, and every thug in a suit and tie, Gangs Of London (Sky Atlantic) feels like a classic crime movie. But the cartoon ultraviolence is like nothing ever seen on TV before. Very messy.

    Co-presenter Sian Williams investigated the related question of how much air goes into soft ice cream. I was waiting for her to mention that the whipped variety, as served with a 99 Flake, was invented by a young Margaret Thatcher, during her years as a chemist after graduating from Oxford in the Forties.

    That’s what the Bishop of London told mourners in his funeral address in 2013, that Maggie was ‘part of the team that invented Mr Whippy’.

    So I checked and it’s not true, apparently. According to the Royal Society of Chemistry, she worked on cake fillings and soap.The story is blamed on Left-wing propaganda. It’s probably just more fake cheese then.

    As an antidote to all the misinformation about coronavirus on social media, The Big Night In (BBC1) was three hours of honest laughs. There can never have been such a low-budget charity special on telly, but this combined effort from Children In Need and Comic Relief relied on genuine goodwill from the stars, not razzmatazz, to raise our spirits.

    Following on from Sunday’s One World concerts from artistes’ living rooms, the stars of Little Britain joined Lenny Henry, Gary Barlow, Catherine Tate and a cavalcade of others. Classic sketches added to the laughter.

    Long ago, Britons gathered round the piano when we wanted to make our own entertainment. Now, we crowd round tablets and smartphone screens to cheer each other up. And it works a treat.

     

    LEAVE A REPLY

    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here

    Latest Posts

    Amid racial reckoning, Grammys honor the Black experience

    NEW YORK (AP) — With police brutality continuing to devastate Black families and the coronavirus ravishing Black America disproportionately, the world was driven to...

    NYC’s COVID checkpoints are back: Cops will be out ‘in force’ at bridges, crossings and bus stations

    New York City's COVID checkpoints are back: Cops will be out 'in force' at bridges, crossings and bus stations to question Thanksgiving travelers from...

    Everything you need to know about the easing of New South Wales’ restrictions before Christmas

    Gatherings of 50 people, more people in pubs and workers back to the office: How restrictions will be eased in New South Wales before...

    Sunrise’s David ‘Kochie’ Koch and wife Libby FINALLY meet their sixth grandchild Ella

    Sunrise's David 'Kochie' Koch and wife Libby FINALLY meet their sixth grandchild Ella - after months of border closures amid coronavirus By Candice Jackson For...