‘I’m drowning in grief’: Love Island’s Jess Hayes reveals she’s tragically lost her baby boy at 19 weeks as she says ‘I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you safe for a little while longer’
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Love Island‘s Jess Hayes has revealed she has tragically lost her baby boy at 19 weeks, who she had named Teddy.
Taking to Instagram on Tuesday, Jess, who is engaged to fiancé Dan Lawry, wrote that she felt like she is ‘drowning in grief.’
Sharing a picture of a teddy, alongside her baby’s hand and footprints, she wrote: ‘To Our little teddy. I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you safe for a little while longer. I’m sorry I couldn’t take you home.
Sad: Love Island’s Jess Hayes revealed on Tuesday she has tragically lost her baby boy at 19 weeks as she wrote on Instagram ‘I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you safe for a little while longer’
Sad: Taking to Instagram on Tuesday, she wrote that she had miscarried at 19 weeks, the day before and said she felt like she was ‘drowning in grief’
‘I’m sorry we had to say goodbye this way it wasn’t supposed to be like this. The pain is unbearable and I feel like I’m drowning in grief.
‘My mind spinning thinking of all the what ifs and questions of who you would of grown up to be. When will I wake up From this awful nightmare?
‘I look at the clock and count the hours of how old you are time is moving but your not here your not getting older it’s not fair. No first times, smiles or laughter.’
Grief: Jess shared some moving words alongside her heartbreaking announcement
Jess, who welcomed son Presley James in June last year continued: ‘Why did this happen to us? I wish I could of stared at your beautiful face a little while longer and held you in my arms forever.
‘I look down at my empty stomach where you should still be growing safely and i feel so empty without you there no kicks no flutters.
‘I could see Presley in you, you were so beautiful, perfectly formed. You would never get to play together and be best friends in this world and that hurts so much he would of loved you his little brother so much.
‘I’m grateful that we shared 19 weeks together and I carried you for as long as I could before it was your time to gain your wings.
‘You will always be our beautiful son and I promise you will hold the biggest place in our hearts forever my sweet angel. I will make sure the world knows how special you are.
‘Until we Meet again my Teddy.. Too special for this world. I love you now , forever and always . Your mummy, Daddy and big brother Presley.
Tragically, Jess had only revealed that she and Dan were expecting last week, saying: ‘Guess 2020 wasn’t so bad after all’.
The couple announced her engagement to Dan in August 2018.
What causes a miscarriage?
It is highly unlikely that you will ever know the actual cause of a one-off miscarriage, but most are due to the following problems:
• ABNORMAL FETUS
The most common cause of miscarriages in the first couple of months is a one-off abnormal development in the fetus, often due to chromosome anomalies. ‘It’s not as though the baby is fine one minute and suddenly dies the next,’ says Professor James Walker, Professor of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the University of Leeds.
‘These pregnancies fail from the outset and were never destined to succeed.’ Most miscarriages like this happen by eight weeks, although bleeding may not start until three or four weeks later, which is worth remembering in subsequent pregnancies. ‘If a scan at eight weeks shows a healthy heart beat, you have a 95 per cent chance of a successful pregnancy,’ says Professor Walker.
• HORMONAL FACTORS
A hormonal blip could cause a sporadic miscarriage and never be a problem again. However, a small number of women who have long cycles and irregular periods may suffer recurrent miscarriages because the lining of the uterus is too thin, making implantation difficult.
Unfortunately, hormone treatment is not terribly successful.
‘There used to be a trend for progesterone treatment, but trials show this really doesn’t work,’ warns Professor Walker. ‘There is some evidence that injections of HCG (human chorionic gonadotrophin, a hormone released in early pregnancy) can help, but it’s not the answer for everyone.’ The treatment must be started as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed, at around four or five weeks.
For women over 40, one in four women who become pregnant will miscarry. [One in four women of all ages miscarry, but these figures include women who don’t know that they are pregnant. Of women who do know that they’re pregnant, the figure is one in six. Once you’re over 40, and know that you’re pregnant, the figure rises to one in four]
• AUTO-IMMUNE BLOOD DISORDERS
Around 20 per cent of recurrent miscarriers suffer from lupus or a similar auto-immune disorder that causes blood clots to form in the developing placenta.
A simple blood test, which may need to be repeated several times, can reveal whether or not this is the problem.’One negative test does not mean that a women is okay,’ warns Mr Roy Farquharson, consultant gynaecologist who runs an early pregnancy unit at the Liverpool Women’s Hospital.
Often pregnancy can be a trigger for these disorders, so a test should be done as soon as possible,’ he adds.But it can easily be treated with low dose aspirin or heparin injections, which help to thin the blood and prevent blood clots forming – a recent trial also showed that women do equally well on either. ”We have a 70 per cent live birth rate in women treated for these disorders,’ says Dr Farquharson, ‘which is excellent.’
• OTHER CAUSES
While uterine abnormalities, such as fibroids, can cause a miscarriage, many women have no problems carrying a pregnancy to term. An incompetent cervix can also cause miscarriage at around 20 weeks.
While this can be treated by a special stitch in the cervix, trials suggest it is not particularly successful, although it may delay labour by a few weeks.Gene and chromosomal abnormalities, which can be detected by blood tests, may also cause recurrent miscarriages in a small number of couples.
A procedure known as preimplantation genetic diagnosis can help. After in-vitro fertilisation (IVF), a single cell is taken from the developing embryo and tested for the gene defect. Only healthy embryos are then replaced in the womb.
It is an expensive and stressful procedure – and pregnancy rates tend to be quite low – but for some this is preferable to repeated miscarriages or a genetically abnormal baby.